My presentation is the last thing between you and break/lunch/cocktails/dinner. I hear this at least twice in every conference. Guaranteed. It makes me think your presentation is going to boring and maybe I should just leave for the break now. Should I? It’s just not funny anymore.
I’m really sorry but I won’t be as awesome as the last presenter. This usually happens after a presenter who showed cool videos or played fun music or who was really animated on stage. It rarely happens after a presentation that was full of helpful and practical tips. I don’t know about you but I’d rather be the person who was practical. I’m not particularly impressed by fluff. Give me substance. Even if you’re boring as heck.
I know nothing about this technology, so you’ll have ask my IT guy if you have any questions. Wonderful. I’m supposed to take you seriously when you’re talking about something you don’t understand? Why don’t I just go talk to your sales person instead. Where’s the brownie? Know what you could say instead. “My colleague would love to explain that in more detail.” See? You don’t sound stupid that way.
I don’t understand all these numbers, ask my data guy. This is nothing to be proud of. If you don’t understand the numbers on your slides, you shouldn’t be presenting them. Take a class, attend some webinars, read some textbooks. Numerical illiteracy is nothing to be proud of. You CAN learn. I did. (Check out @ResearchRocks. Awesome training with a kind and patient person.)
To conclude, don’t criticize yourself on stage. Be confident, project intelligence, and the audience will respond.
“Where’s the brownie” is what I tweet when presenters are doing a sales pitch or have no content. If you’re a presenter, avoid the brownie! 🙂
I’m pretty proud of my CNE eating accomplishments this year. Unlike previous years where I managed to fill out all sections of the Venn diagram, this year I was able to avoid those boring and overly simplistic sections that fulfill only one requirement. This year, I focused entire on “food” that incorporated at least two of the circles.
My favourite, of course, was the magically delicious, deep fried, bacon wrapped Mars Bar. Massively gooey and chewy goodness.
The CNE, as always, has produced a wondrous assortment of caloric delights. For your information, here is a pie chart illustrating where the 5600 calories I ate came from.
And, here are the official scores for the items you’re wondering most about. The pictures are in order from left to right.
Donut hamburger: A+ If you’re going to do it, then do it right and get it with the egg and bacon. Tastes good, worth the calories for a once a year crazy eating fest.
Deep fried coke: C My guess is they add a little bit of flour to the coke syrup to thicken it up a little. Then, they drizzle it into the hot oil. It doesn’t taste good or bad. It just is. Worth the money? No. Worth saying you ate it? Maybe.
Deep fried Joe Louis: B+ Nice flavour. It’s like eating warm cake out of the oven. It’s tasty but it’s not crazy wow unusual. Still yum.
Deep fried brownie: B+ Like the Joe Louis, also good but nothing OMG crazy. Nice warm cake.
And lastly, here is a picture of me with my new boyfriend. This little guy was not interested in the free food. He just wanted a little bit of love and he weasled his head onto my arm for as long as I would pet him.
- Yes, I am going to eat this Krispy Kreme donut hamburger at the CNE (lovestats.wordpress.com)
- CNE fried treat too hot for Coke (thestar.com)
- CNE cuisine that’s worth the calories (thestar.com)
- August 21, 2011: Daredevil Eats at the CNE! The Return of the Weird Food Purchase of the Day! (josephmallozzi.wordpress.com)