Research Quotes

Mark Twain photo portrait.

Hmmm, Mark Twain looks like Albert Einstein

Torture numbers, and they’ll confess to anything.  Gregg Easterbrook (Quote Garden) (Tweet this)

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. Mark Twain (Brainy Quote) (Tweet this)

You can’t fix by analysis what you bungled by design. Light, Singer and Willett, page v (Math WPI) (Tweet this)

If you want to inspire confidence, give plenty of statistics. It does not matter that they should be accurate, or even intelligible, as long as there is enough of them. Lewis Carroll (World of Quotes) (Tweet this)

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. Fletcher Knebel (Quotations Page) (Tweet this)

Round numbers are always false. Samuel Johnson (Best Quotes) (Tweet this)

If your experiment needs statistics, you ought to have done a better experiment. Ernest Rutherford (Basic Jokes) (Tweet this)

Statistics are no substitute for judgment. Henry Clay (Online Math Learning) (Tweet this)

Statistical thinking will one day be as necessary a qualification for efficient citizenship as the ability to read and write. HG Wells (Posner Smith) (Tweet this)

George Gallup

I could prove God statistically. George Gallup (Working Humor) (Tweet this)

There are three kinds of lies: lies,damned lies, and statistics. Benjamin Disraeli (Quotes Your Dictionary) (Tweet this)

Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. Aaron Levenstein. (ThinkExist) (Tweet this)

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions. Evan Esar. ( (Tweet this)

USA Today has come out with a new survey – apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population. David Letterman. (Entrainbow) (Tweet this)

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive. – George Bernard Shaw

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures. – Evan Esar

Statistics are no substitute for judgment. – Henry Clay

Consumers are statistics. Customers are people. – Stanley Marcus

Hans Rosling

It is the mark of a truly intelligentperson to be moved by statistics. – George Bernard Shaw

The greatest moments are those when you see the result pop up in a graph or in your statistics analysis – that moment you realise you know something no one else does and you get the pleasure of thinking about how to tell them. – Emily Oster

The Government are very keen on amassing statistics – they collect them, add them, raise them to the nth power, take the cube root and prepare wonderful diagrams. – Josiah Stamp

There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up and the kind you make up. – Rex Stout

Do we need to have 280 brands of breakfast cereal? No, probably not. But we have them for a reason – because some people like them. It’s the same with baseball statistics. – Bill James

I loved statistics from a young age. And I studied very much in Sweden. I used to be in the upper quarter of all courses I attended. But in St. John’s, I was in the lower quarter. And the fact was that Indian students studied harder than we did in Sweden. They read the textbook twice, or three times or four times. – Hans Rosling

A recent survey or North American males found 42% were overweight, 34% were critically obese and 8% ate the survey. – Banksy

All statistics have outliers. ― Nenia Campbell, Terrorscape

Kato Lomb

I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged. ― Roger Jones

Whenever I read statistical reports, I try to imagine my unfortunate contemporary, the Average Person, who, according to these reports, has 0.66 children, 0.032 cars, and 0.046 TVs. ― Kató Lomb

Of course, if 40% of women need oxytocin to progress normally, then something is wrong with the definition of normal. ― Henci Goer

One of the first things taught in introductory statistics textbooks is that correlation is not causation. It is also one of the first things forgotten. ― Thomas Sowell


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