Research should be like gummy vitamins #MRX


IMAG0444 IMAG0443I hate vitamins. I hate the big fat pills you have to swallow and I hate the bad taste of the chewable vitamins despite the supposedly wonderful fruity flavours. But this form of self-medication is recommended by doctors and no matter how terrible they taste, I ought to take them.

Fortunately, now there are these lovely things called gummy vitamins for adults. I’ve been staring at them in the stores for a long time. No doubt, they taste fabulous but it disappoints me that they don’t contain all the vitamins that they ought to.

For instance, the gummy vitamins don’t contain any iron. Why not you ask? Well, I checked on the internet (everything on the internet is true) and it seems that the lack of iron is to ensure that should a child find a large bottle of “candy” just sitting around, that they don’t overdose on iron.  Makes sense to me.

Well, I finally broke down and bought a bottle. I removed the safety seal and ate the prescribed dose of vitamins. Wow… Yum… They really do taste like candy. I closed the lid and stared at the bottle. Yum. Would two more hurt? Couldn’t possibly. But I shouldn’t. But would two more really matter? Nah. I stared at the bottle for a while longer and finally put it away. That’s why they don’t include iron in the adult gummy vitamins. Not because kids might OD on them, but because adults like me might OD on them.

And so we get to research. Doctors all around the world prescribe research as a valid and reliable method of learning more about consumers and brands. Heck, as a PhD qualified researcher, I prescribe large doses of research for myself all the time. But, if people are going to self-medicate with research, those without the appropriate academic qualifications and without dedicated on-the-job experience and training, need to have the iron removed. The dangerous parts of research should be safely tucked away to prevent harm as much as possible.

Without the appropriate training, DIY tools, like survey programs, sampling systems, statistical analysis and charting programs, should be carefully locked away to prevent surveys from being written incorrectly, samples drawn incorrectly, statistics interpreted incorrectly, and charts prepared incorrectly. If the “candy” can’t be consumed, then it can’t cause any damage.

For the safety and security of brand measurements, are you willing to lock it all up?

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