A guide to acceptable bullying

Oscar, Bjork and the Swan Dress

Oscar, Bjork and the Swan Dress (Photo credit: Pulicciano)

Last night, we joined together in harmony to laugh at the ugliest dresses, the worst colours, the most unflattering styles of hollywood celebrities. We watched in rapture as beautiful actress after beautiful actress makes a horridly wrong choice and ends up looking like a fat, ugly cow. We chuckled at their horrible taste in fashion, their inability to see what was obviously disgusting, and feel relieved that we wouldn’t be caught dead wearing something so outrageous.

We don’t say those things to their faces so it makes no difference. Besides, they’re used to hearing all these things and know how to handle it. It’s what they signed up for it. They knew very well that if they didn’t choose the right dress, they would be made fun of. They knew very well that if their taste in clothing didn’t match what we expect, they would be made fun of. These are the right people to criticize, and for a benign thing at that.

Beatrice hat.

Beatrice hat. (Photo credit: Bryan Maleszyk)

It also keeps us well practiced and always improving the criticism we do behind our friends’ and colleagues’ backs. And, best of all, it keeps negativity on the brain. Forget how much courage it takes to express your true self and wear clothes you like as opposed to clothes other people will like on you. Forget the right to self-expression, forget the forced conformity. Focus on bullying someone you don’t even know. Because it’s all in good fun.

Food for thought when you shake your head in dismay at the next kid who commits suicide after being bullied.

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