Two ways to die in New York city


View of the Statue of Liberty from Liberty Island

Image via Wikipedia

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  • When preparing to cross the street, stand in the middle of the street and cross as soon as you can squish between two vehicles.
  • There is no need to wait for traffic signals when waiting to cross. Signals are just christmas lights they forgot to take down.
  • There is no such thing as a line. If you want something, just push all those rude people aside and go do your thing.
  • Be prepared for smells. Not smells as discussed in the next item, but smells that seem to have fermented over many decades.
  • Do not expect to follow your rule of “Buy something at every bakery you pass.” You will end up eating too much and then you will explode.
  • The server at Chipotle who tells you to get lost because you are a first timer is kidding.
  • The mild at Chipotle is not mild. It is can’t even finish my dinner.
  • ZanyBands are zany and I am ready to trade. Blame Stacey.
  • Reserve your crown tickets online or you will be very disappointed that you can’t even touch the base of the fabulous Statue of Liberty.
  • Do not walk from Battery Park to Penn Station in 35 celsius weather. Melting is a second way to die.
  • Do get soaked in the fountain at Battery Park and watch other roasting adults be jealous of how immature you are.
  • Be awed by the 3600 year old obelisk in Central Park and the Statue of Liberty and the WTC and the church that George Washington stood in.
  • Do eat two pieces of cheesecake when your flight is delayed. One cheesecake per hour is the suggested rate.

I love New York🙂

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  • One response

    1. there are many more than two ways to die in New York. You must not be coming here often enough!

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